Valentine's Day is about love and romance, but for many of my clients who have started divorce proceedings, it becomes a day of regret and sadness. In order to help you navigate this difficult time, here are a few nuggets to help you survive the day.
Keep Your Mind Busy
Commit to staying busy from the moment you wake up on the morning of February 14th to the moment you call it a day. You can make sure that your day is jam-packed with activities by planning ahead. The less time you have to sit and dwell, the more successful your day will be. Write down a schedule, fill the day with uplifting and fun activities, and stick to it!
Stay Focused at Work
Just because you have to work on Valentine's Day doesn't mean that your jam-packed schedule must suffer due to your stress. Create a list of tasks and projects to immerse yourself in while you're on the clock. Diverting your attention from negative feelings about the holiday to your work can actually help increase your productivity.
Exercise is one of life's best remedies for stress and sadness. Commit at least 30 minutes to an hour of your Valentine's Day to getting some sort of exercise. Hit the gym. Go for a walk. Check out a fitness class to work out some stress in a positive way. The type of exercise doesn't matter as long as you're moving and challenging your body. Staying active can help to promote positive thoughts and feelings during this difficult time.
P.S. Whether the day is Valentine's Day or just another day, exercise is ALWAYS a great idea!
Reminders of Valentine's day will be everywhere, so be sure to do something special for yourself. Many times, married spouses forget to focus on themselves. Instead, they focus on their partner and/or the relationship. Take this Valentine's Day to redirect your love and attention to yourself. Treat yourself to a special meal, splurge on a piece of clothing or schedule a massage.
Spend Time With People You Love
Valentine's Day isn't just about love between romantic partners. Valentine's Day has evolved into a holiday that celebrates love between all people. If you have children, spend time with them and let them know how much you love and care for them. If you have other single friends, meet up with them for lunch and/or dinner. Talk about your feelings, compare experiences, and use the opportunity to be vulnerable with people who care.
Stay Away From Social Media
If you're a social media junkie, you may want to consider taking a break on Valentine's Day. Better yet, think about taking a social media hiatus for the remainder of the month of February. While social media can be a great way to spread positivity and connect with people, it also has a dark side. Avoid the temptation to check up on your ex around the holiday. These negative emotions could cloud your judgment and cause you to make poor decisions through the legal process and within your personal, day-to-day life. Taking a break from social media can help you avoid negative triggers and reset your focus on yourself.
REMEMBER Why You Split
It's unlikely that you woke up one day and said, “Hey, I just don't feel like being married anymore.” Making the decision to get a divorce or separate from your spouse is life-changing, and you probably didn't do it on a whim. It is important to remember that you had a good reason to separate or divorce. Take a moment to understand this and acknowledge that you made a tough decision that was best for you. Use Valentine's Day as a way to celebrate you and the strength you showed during one of the most (if not the most) difficult times in your life.
If you are recently separated and/or are going through a divorce, it is important to take care of yourself during stressful times. Valentine's Day can be a source of incredible emotional pain and suffering if you are not careful. Planning ahead and strategizing your day can help you to survive the difficult holiday.
Call McDonald Law for more information about coping with a divorce during the holidays.